How I Found My Way After A Decade of Floating Adrift


Daily Prompt: adrift

The majority of my twenties was plagued with stress, uncertainty, and a general sense that I was lost at sea, floating adrift into previously uncharted waters. An unpleasant divorce in addition to the first real losses of my life sent me into both a dark hole of isolation and  a tailspin that I feared I may never recover from.

Slowly though, I did start to recover. Difficult as it was, I adjusted to my new role as a working single mom and full-time graduate student. Living on my own for the first time ever, (with the exception of my little one, of course), agreed with me. Soon I found myself emerging from the isolation and reconnecting with old friends. I was working for the first time in my three-year old child’s life, and graduate school was amazing. I felt alive. After reconnecting with a dear childhood friend I even found myself entertaining the idea of dating. This was a huge surprise to me as I had resigned myself to never again finding love. I was content with the idea that I would dedicate my life to taking care of my son; ensuring he had the very best life that I could possibly provide him with.

Life has a way of working out though, and before long  the dear childhood friend I had reconnected with became so much more. Our relationship grew into a loving, mature, fulfilling one that swept me off my feet. My dear friend and  new boyfriend didn’t mind the messy divorce or the fact that I was a single mom to a rambunctious three-year old little boy. In fact, he embraced my life and all that it entailed, offering to help me study when needed and keeping my little guy entertained with countless innings of t-ball so that I could make dinner, clean up, or catch up on school work. It was a magical time that, in my darkest days, I never thought possible. The years of uncertainty seemed to give way as I both celebrated and embraced my thirtieth birthday and newfound sense of self.

Before long our relationship blossomed even further and we were engaged and planning a cross-country move in order for my fiance to take an amazing job. My son was happy, I was happy, and the discontent of my twenties faded into a distant memory. Our move was one of the best things that could have happened for our newly forged family. So far away from home, family, friends, and all things familiar, we truly learned how to be a family in those early days. We became our own support system and our family grew closer than ever. My fiance and I were married, with my beloved son escorting me down the aisle and serving as best man to my husband.

Nearly two years passed and though we loved the life we had created, we found ourselves missing home. As fate would have it, a company close to home began recruiting and pursuing my husband for an even better position. We happily accepted and before long we were homeward bound.

We’ve been back for nearly two years now. While we have endured some difficult times, including my very serious health problems, I can honestly say that I am happier than I have ever been. I feel a sense of content, peace, and joy most days. I know I am exactly where I should be, surrounded by exactly whom I should be.

So what does this all mean for my reader, one may wonder? My message is simple. Even in your darkest days, never give up. Push forward and trust that life has a plan for you. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be happily remarried, living where we do, and following my dream of writing, (even being published), and here I am. The uncertainty and adrift floating through uncertain and trying, maybe even tumultuous waters, will give way to sunny skies. I promise.

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