blogging · Community Pool · discover · essay · Family Dynamics · Finding yourself · Introspection · Paternal Abandonment · Reflection · Uncategorized

When the Damage is Done

I hold no ill will and wish you peace. This I have told you time and time again. It seems every time a fair amount of time passes you reappear, just as you did when I was a vulnerable child, unaware of how to protect myself from your absence or your presence. I understand and feel for your hurt, but I’ve finally come to realize my hurt trumps what I perceive to be yours.

I don’t wish you pain or suffering, despite the irreparable pain, suffering, and damage that has been done at your hand. For myself and the little girl I once was, I have forgiven you, yet I will never be able to forget what has transpired.

Much to your credit I will forever treasure the limited good times we shared. I enjoyed both our brief blossoming relationship and company. I loved the love you appeared to shower my child with, rationalizing that it made up for what you failed to showed me.

Sadly, this did not last. I now accept that far too much damage has been done and the relationship, trust, and bond we artificially and briefly shared will never be again.

That being said, you are my father and nothing will ever change that. I sincerely wish you peace and harmony in your life, for I believe your discontent explains both your incomprehensible early absenteeism and later baffling life choices. Though I’m not sorry I can no longer be a part of your life, I do wish you the very best.

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3 thoughts on “When the Damage is Done

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