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Music of My Life, Song

They say music is the universal language. It speaks to the soul, awakens and consoles hearts, bridges generational, cultural, and social economical gaps, all while managing to stir emotions and memories long forgotten. Song in particular is the language paired with music.

For me, there are few songs that have seared themselves so deep inside of me, my very being has been touched. One song in particular, The Eagles “Lyin’ Eyes,” has long resonated with me so deeply, that I feel as if it were written for me.

As a young woman I stove for perfection.  Always wanting to “do better,” or “be better,” I constantly pushed myself. If only I could make certain to achieve Dean’s List than everything would be “perfect.” If only I could lose those pesky ten pounds, I’d be “perfect.” If I were only better at this, or that, everything would fall “perfectly” into place and all would be well. This dangerous trend only worsened when I became a mother. The stakes higher than ever, I placed insurmountable pressure on myself to be the very best at all things “Mom.” I was determined to be perfect at a job I had no experience in, where most hit the learner’s curve pretty hard.

The Eagle’s, “Lyin’ Eyes” tells the story of a naive young woman who aligns herself with an older gentlemen in an effort to ensure her presumed financial future. She soon finds that, despite all of her efforts at securing a “new life” for herself, things aren’t working out as she had planned. The song continues, exposing her unfaithful ways and ultimately her sadness and isolation are expressed perfectly in the lines, “Ain’t it funny how your new life didn’t change things?/You’re still the same old girl you used to be.”

While I may not have “arranged things” for myself with a wealthy older man in an effort to secure my life, as the subject of my favorite song has,  I have spent much of my life trying to ensure perfection. Over time, and with a bit of wisdom, I have come to realize, no matter how hard I try to attain and maintain perfection,  whether I’ve made Dean’s List, lost those ten pounds, or been the perfect mom, at the end of the day, I’m “still the same old girl” I used to be.

 

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