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I don’t know what I expected. It was inevitable. At some point, one of us was bound to run into one of them. Somehow it still knocked the wind out of me, though.
“How’s my nephew,” he asked my sister. “My nephew.” He said those words. Followed by, “I have nothing to do with his father, so I shouldn’t be punished.” My sister took a step back, realizing that the two of them were, in fact, at this concert, this very expensive concert, together. She then asked him what he’d like to drink and shook her head in disgust, refusing to engage in any conversation with such garbage.
I’m not entirely sure what upset me most? The fact that my son’s father hasn’t acknowledged him in nearly two years or the fact that his brother (who has two of his own children that he has no custodial rights to) had the audacity to refer to my child as “his nephew?”
I have a nephew and a second due any day now. I know what my nephew likes and dislikes. I know what he’s allergic to, and when his asthma is bad and we need to call Mama for a breathing treatment. I know what size clothes he wears, what styles he prefers, and even his favorite stores. I was there the day he was born. I watched him come into this world and I’ve considered everyday since getting to know my nephew one of the great blessings of my life. I have a bond with him that means something to me. Something that I’m unwilling to sacrifice for any reason.
My sisters and my brother are very much the same with my son. They are wonderful aunts, and my brother is an excellent uncle, who have spent time fostering independent and unique relationships with my son. My son loves and adores each of his aunts and his uncle for many reasons; some of the same reasons, some very different. My son, much like my nephew, is keenly aware that, if he needed his Aunty or his Uncle, he or she would be there, no questions asked. He knows this because it’s always been that way. Throughout our children’s lives we’ve made it a point to show up for each others kids, and not disappoint them. I feel confident in saying all four of us have done a great job at this, despite the fact that only two of us have children. Our boys, yes our boys, know they can depend on us. They know we will be there, loving, supporting, and encouraging them each and every step they take along their journeys.
Which brings me back to my ex-husbands brother referring to my son as his nephew? I’m sorry, but you don’t deserve the privilege of knowing anything about my son, my sisters’ nephew, my brother’s nephew. You are not an uncle, you are not even a distant relative. Maybe someday you’ll be a vague memory of somebody he used to know, but not today.
As for his father, who didn’t even have the decency to inquire about the well being of his son…Please send him my warmest regards.

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